Supporting Loved Ones with Compassion During Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

Loving someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be both deeply rewarding and incredibly challenging. BPD is a complex mental health condition that affects the way a person thinks and feels about themselves and others. Individuals with BPD often struggle with intense emotions, fears of abandonment, unstable relationships, and difficulty trusting—even those closest to them.

At Wings Recovery, we recognize the emotional toll BPD can take on individuals and their support systems. This May, in honor of Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month, we’re shining a light on how to support loved ones with BPD—with understanding, patience, and compassion.

Whether you’re a parent, partner, sibling, friend, or caregiver, this guide is designed to help you navigate the journey of supporting someone with BPD while also caring for your own emotional well-being.

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder is a mental health condition characterized by:

Intense fear of abandonment
Unstable and intense relationships
Rapid mood swings
Chronic feelings of emptiness
Impulsivity (e.g., risky behavior, substance use)
Anger that is inappropriate, intense, or difficult to control
Distorted self-image
Self-harming behaviors or suicidal ideation

These symptoms are not just “moodiness” or “drama”—they are the result of deep psychological pain, often rooted in trauma, attachment wounds, or emotional neglect.

Many individuals with BPD feel emotions more intensely and for longer periods of time than others. These emotional experiences can lead to a cycle of instability that’s painful not just for them, but also for the people who love them.

May is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

Each May, mental health organizations and advocates around the world work to increase understanding of BPD and reduce the stigma surrounding it. At Wings Recovery, we join this mission by promoting education, empathy, and hope for healing.

BPD Awareness Month is a vital time to:

Challenge myths and stereotypes about BPD
Celebrate the courage of those in recovery
Equip loved ones with tools for support
Advocate for compassionate, trauma-informed care

Together, we can change the narrative around BPD—from one of fear and frustration to one of possibility and connection.

How to Help Someone with BPD: 10 Compassionate Strategies

1. Educate Yourself

The first and most important step is to learn about BPD. Understanding the symptoms, triggers, and emotional patterns of the disorder can help you respond with empathy instead of judgment.

Helpful resources include:

Books like “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me” by Jerold J. Kreisman
Educational videos and webinars
Articles from trusted mental health organizations like Wings Recovery

Knowledge is empowering—for both you and your loved one.

2. Listen Without Trying to Fix

People with BPD often feel misunderstood. When they share their pain, resist the urge to offer quick solutions. Instead, offer your full, nonjudgmental presence.

Try saying:

“I hear how hard this is for you.”
“You’re not alone. I’m here.”
“I may not understand everything, but I want to.”

Validation goes a long way in helping someone with BPD feel seen and safe.

3. Set Healthy Boundaries

Supporting someone with BPD doesn’t mean sacrificing your own mental health. It’s okay—and necessary—to set and maintain healthy boundaries.

This could include:

Saying no to verbal abuse or manipulation
Taking time for yourself when you feel overwhelmed
Defining what support you can realistically offer

Boundaries help both people feel secure in the relationship.

4. Encourage Professional Treatment

Therapy is a critical part of recovery for people with BPD. Treatments like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Trauma-Focused Care are especially effective.

At Wings Recovery, we specialize in:

DBT skills (emotion regulation, mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness)
Individual and group therapy
EMDR and somatic trauma therapies
Integrative healing for co-occurring disorders (e.g., substance use, eating disorders)

Encourage your loved one to seek professional help—and offer to support them through the process, whether that’s driving them to an appointment or helping them find a provider.

5. Avoid Triggers, But Don’t Walk on Eggshells

Certain situations or words may trigger intense emotional reactions in someone with BPD. Learn what these are and try to be sensitive to them—but remember, you don’t need to silence yourself or walk on eggshells.

Instead:

Use calm, clear communication
Speak from a place of love
Practice patience when conversations become emotionally charged

Staying grounded and consistent helps create an environment of safety and trust.

6. Recognize the Signs of a Crisis

Because of the intensity of their emotions, people with BPD may experience suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviors during times of stress. It’s important to recognize the warning signs and know what to do.

Red flags include:

Talking about feeling worthless or wanting to die
Withdrawing suddenly or going silent
Increased impulsivity or risky behavior

If you’re concerned, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Encourage them to call a therapist, crisis hotline, or accompany them to a hospital if necessary.

7. Celebrate Small Victories

Progress with BPD is not always linear—but it is possible. Celebrate small victories with your loved one, such as:

Going a day without self-harm
Attending a therapy session
Communicating a need calmly
Using a DBT skill in a stressful moment

Acknowledging their effort builds motivation and reinforces hope.

8. Don’t Take Things Personally

This one is tough. People with BPD may lash out, withdraw suddenly, or say things they don’t mean. Remember, these reactions are often driven by deep emotional pain—not you.

While it’s okay to be hurt, try to see the bigger picture:

Their behavior reflects their disorder, not your worth
Your consistency and calmness can help de-escalate emotional storms
Forgiveness (with boundaries) fosters healing

9. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Loving someone with BPD can be emotionally draining. You deserve support just as much as they do. Make space for:

Therapy or support groups for caregivers
Time with friends and hobbies
Rest and relaxation

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself models healthy behavior for your loved one and ensures you can continue to show up for them in a sustainable way.

10. Hold Onto Hope

People with BPD are not “too much” or “beyond help.” With treatment and support, many go on to build fulfilling lives and relationships. Recovery is real—and it’s worth fighting for.

At Wings Recovery, we’ve seen firsthand the resilience and beauty in individuals living with BPD. With the right tools, environment, and support network, healing is not just possible—it’s probable.

BPD in the Context of Trauma

Many individuals with BPD have a history of trauma, including:

Childhood emotional neglect or abuse
Abandonment or attachment disruptions
Sexual assault or domestic violence

Understanding this link can help shift our view of BPD from “difficult behavior” to “a survival response to pain.” Trauma-informed care recognizes this and works to rebuild safety, trust, and emotional regulation.

At Wings Recovery, we treat BPD within the context of trauma, using evidence-based practices tailored to each person’s unique experience.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone

If you’re supporting someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, know this:

You are doing meaningful work, even if it feels hard.
You deserve support, education, and rest.
You can love someone deeply without losing yourself in the process.

This May, during Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month, let’s commit to increasing compassion—for those living with BPD and those who love them. Let’s challenge stigma and celebrate progress. Let’s hold space for healing.

At Wings Recovery, we’re here for the journey—offering professional treatment, family support, and a path to lasting recovery.

Need Support? We’re Here.
If you or your loved one is struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder, Wings Recovery offers personalized, trauma-informed programs to help you heal—together.

Reach out today for a free and confidential consultation at 888-790-9377

How to Help Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)